I could work in a sea-side in. Can you imagine that? I'd get to live on the coast - my dream - and make food and meet people. The romanticism of it isn't lost on me, either. I'm surrounded in it, actually. Wow. I'm having a mental vision worth living.

And everyone else is doing the right thing, I guess. They are going to good, four-year institutions, delaying a certain part of reality that much longer while embracing another patch that I won't experience for at least another year - maybe more, perhaps never. In a year they will be - honestly - about the same as they started out, no where closer to adult life than at the end of high school. I will have a career, one even that I love.

I look at it and think, "I should be doing that." It is what I spent my school career preparing for. But I'm doing this. And it excites me, doing this that - on some levels - is wrong. Is unexpected, inappropriate.

I must say, though, it bolsters me to have such loving friends and family. My parents are pains, sure, but they support me. My darling sarah and partner in crime celia both love me no matter the decisions I make, the scrapes I create. They are lovely girls, truely inspiring creations.

This is just a thought, now. Don't be too alarmed, but I warn you now: this may possibily be my last entry here. It has the tone and closure I need and want. More may come, sure, but just in case, you need to know. If this turns out to be the final one, know that I'll continue on at dawdle, a new diary. Also, if this is the big it, I will switch over the layout. I designed one specially for the closing of ladypheebs. So, if you show up and see a completely new layout, that's IS it. There will be no more here.

LOVE, love to the online community I've found through this diary. Love to everyone and everything that experienced these three years. It has been a best way to spend critical years of my life.